But is it worth it buying an actual album of shredding? Batio’s first four albums are, in this reviewer’s humble opinion, boring as fuck. He makes aspiring guitarists all over the world pull their hair out and bite their nails down to the skin because they’ll just never be that good. He made Nitro’s Freight Train video actually pull the “so-bad-it’s-good” stunt off with his over-the-top, musical masturbatory four-necked guitar solo. He taught Tom Morello how to play guitar rather than just fuck around with cool sounds, and he taught Mark Tremonti that if you weren’t marketing to 13 year old girls and old Christian grannies you might need to actually learn some techniques as far as guitar playing goes. He writes columns full of depressing mindfucks that you’ll never be able to keep up with. 1 Shredder of All Time (and of any universe, presumably) by Guitar One magazine. I’ll never play that fast.” This, my friends, is Michael Angelo Batio, voted the No. We’ve all been there, that single depressing moment when you click play on the youtube video, the slow realization of “holy fuck he’s harmonizing by himself on two necks”, then the creeping jealousy of “goddamm, I want one of those double necked axes too”, up until the withering agony of “fuck it, no one can play that fast. Anyone who’s ever learned an instrument knows the feeling.
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